Sunday, June 1, 2014

Sometimes it's the small things

Walking around in public dressed as a girl when you are a guy is difficult. I boiled it down to two difficulties to conquer. 1: Not caring what people think of you 2: Looking good enough to not make a fool of oneself. Surprisingly I found 1 to be more difficult than 2.However I'm not going to spend a lot of time on 1 and 2 right now as I have come to discover there is a 3... family.

Families and gender bending are prickly bed partners. Families that are very religious dont look kindly to sons and brothers that like to wear stilettos and mascara. Families are not like everybody else because you only get one. Sure I know what you are thinking, "If they cant accept you for who you are then you really dont need a family like that." My view is that my parents are far to old to change their thinking and to old to shock with the news. I think the trauma of my gender bending activities could cause serious emotional issues and it's a risk I am not willing to take. My siblings and their extended families I could care less if I offended as they could grow to accept it in time. However I can't tell my siblings in fear that they would tell my parents and the viscous cycle of secrecy continues. So I have been at a virtual standstill on this topic for years and never really saw an opportunity for change until...

Yesterday my nephew-in-law came to visit. He currently lives in California with his wife and three girls. He is in the process of moving to Arkansas as I type this though and was in town to find a new place to live. My wife decided that it was a perfectly good idea to tell him about my alter ego a cpl of days ago. Obviously I was a bit reluctant about this as telling family opens a whole new can of worms.

Well I am happy to report that he was not bothered at all with my hobbies or plans to write a book, in fact he seemed quite intrigued. I started the evening dressed fairly normally as we were cooking out and enjoying the Arkansas woods from my deck. We sipped a few drinks and shared a few stories. Before long I was painting my nails (another failed attempt to learn water marbling) and put in my 42D's. I have to admit it was really pleasant to be able to be myself around family and not have to hide. Sometimes it's the small things that make life the most pleasant.

So I would like to make a toast to being yourself!
and another toast to family that doesn't judge you!

Looking forward to seeing my nephew again and meeting his lovely wife. I hope you find this little corner of the Ozarks to be enjoyable. Welcome to Arkansas J & R!

Lbs gained/lost: +/- 0 (gotta get this going)
Nail broken since May 7th :2

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Walking a mile in someone elses shoes

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." Atticus Finch, "To Kill a Mockingbird"

     I chose to push the envelope this weekend and it proved to be enlightening. I put the 'Fear of Man' behind me and tread into previously uncharted waters. Honestly doing this is more of a mental challenge that a physical one. What is it I did? I walked out the door one day wearing 4" stiletto tennis shoes and the next wearing flip flops with my toe nails painted a bright teal. The surprising thing? I wasn't nervous at all.
   One would assume that being out of ones comfort zone would cause some nervousness but alas, for me it wasn't true. We are all raised with a comfort zone. Clothes given to us that people wont laugh at or stare at. Some people don't fit the clothes they are given and get boob jobs or tummy tucks to fit in them. Women forcing their bodies to fit into women's clothes is considered acceptable. However men doing the same to fit into women's clothes is taboo. It's time we moved past that and I see encouraging signs that more progress has been made down that road that I expected.
   I had several wonderful conversation almost everywhere I went with people saying positive things about my shoes. Perhaps society isn't as stuck on gender norms as I anticipated. Oh I'm sure there were multiple passers by that thought I was some gay dude being overly flamboyant. But then again maybe the seed of change was planted in their minds. Gender expression is a choice after all. We are not cursed to dress one way for the rest of our lives just because we were born with an X chromosome or a Y. 
   Take time today to look at life from someone else's perspective. Who knows, maybe you will even enjoy what you see...

      To put it simply, I am NOT choosing to walk a mile in someone elses shoes, I am walking a mile in my shoes.

Monday, May 19, 2014

Temporarily AFK...

Hello everyone! No I am not dead, nor have I given up my quest to write my book about living as a woman. I got rather side tracked with a trip to Mexico that ate up all my time. I have to say it was VERY nice not to have to worry about being cold for a week. So without further ado, here are some recent details of my life ...

Countries visited: 1 (Mexico)
Sun tans acquired: 1
Nails broken: 0 (starting today)
Manicures received: 1 (With special thanks to Maria at New Moon Spa at the Crescent and all the great girls at the counter!)
Lbs gained/lost: +8 curse you Mexico and your free alcohol)
Diets restarted: 1
Funnest thing I did: Went grocery shopping in 4" stiletto's

I'm seriously thinking about getting a personal trainer to help me finish my conditioning before this fall. Time flies by fast enough without me procrastinating anymore. I'd LOVE to get questions from you all about anything related to my book writing quest. I have yet to receive a single one. Oh well I must go hop on my elliptical while I watch Vikings. Adios!

Link of the day:

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Corset training

The time has come! I have lost 37 lbs so far and am at a waist size that corset training is doable. So for those of you that have never worn a corset let me be the first to tell you that a real cinch down corset is the best diet aid there ever was. Way better than magical diet pills, or stomach surgery...why? Simple you are forced to eat very small meals because eating hurts. Pain is a great deterrent to stuffing your face.
Of course to corset train properly you have to wear it every minute of the day that you are not bathing or exercising. It takes commitment and perseverance. However the benefits will wow you when you start to see that hourglass shape and you can fit into clothes you never ever imagined you would be able to. 
So that being said my corset came last night. I did a LOT of researching to find a good quality made to order corset maker. After trying it on I am going to HIGHLY recommend them to anyone that may want one in the future. Mine is an underbust corset, also known as a waist cincher (Much like the image above). Mine is not made to wear on the outside as it's sole purpose is cinching, not fashion, so it is a simple black model. Sadly they have to be steam cleaned when the time comes to do so.

Bad Attitude Boutique - The Corset Store
953 East Sahara Ave # B-10
Las Vegas, NV 89104

And here is the one I ordered...

Since I start my workweek in 2 hrs, I will start corset training this Saturday. I will keep you all posted on my cinching progress. 


Saturday, March 8, 2014

Down for the count

---Do you remember February? Well I don't. I had Bronchitis, followed directly by a viral infection of the corneas of my eyes that sent me to the emergency room. Then 3 nights later I caught type A flu and back to the emergency room again. That was followed by 3 days I don't even remember lying in a sickness induced coma like state and finally 3 weeks of recovery. I have not been that sick since I was a wee little lass.  Of course this story wouldn't be complete w/o drama at work. I thought for awhile that my work schedule would change drastically which would keep me from my plan. Needless to say February is a month that I would rather forget.
---So here we are in march. My illnesses are mostly behind me, I can see again, and the drama at work never happened.The damage was done however. It is far to late into the year for me to complete all the tasks I needed to start my 3 month stint as Raine in April.  Maybe in a way it's a bit of a relief because I had SOOO much to do and it will probably work out better to do it this autumn.
---So where to go from here? Start making a new plan of course. I intend to start my 3 months as Raine on Sept 15th now. This gives me plenty of time to get corset trained and lose some more weight (I have lost 35 lbs now!). Of course I have to finalize a wardrobe, makeup and everything else I will need as well. These 6 months will probably go by faster than I hope.
---All that being said I am still on course to follow through on my promises. I truly apologize for being so out of touch for so long. I would so very much like to get some feedback from you all. Feel free to ask questions, make comments, give me your opinions. I can't write this book without knowing the topics that people are interested in reading about. I need your help!
---Well I need to get to bed as the clock jumps forward tonight. I promise to make many many more posts in the days and weeks to come...


Thursday, January 30, 2014

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men...

---It appears I am not good at keeping promises. I really do have every intention of posting nearly daily on here. I am more focused than ever on my plan and authoring aspirations. However fate again has stepped in to let me know that it's her schedule I live by, not mine. That being said I have the flu. I came home from work Saturday morning with a temp of 101.6 and was shivering uncontrollably. After spending 3 days mostly in bed, I am again up among the living. However my nose is raw and I have a cough that wont stop.
---Good news? Well yes there is some. I am up to 28 lbs lost since I started, which leaves 20 lbs to my goal. I will probably be ordering my made to order corset in the next 10 lbs or so and am very excited. Want to lose weight? Wear a real corset 23 hours a day. I promise the lbs will shed away...
--- Also I plan on making a visit to make in the next couple of weeks. I am getting a makeover and hopefully wont be disappointed with the results. i am a little weary that age may have caught up with me and that I will be embarrassing myself by dolling up and going out. I never could pass it public, as 99% of men that try, however I do have a gender neutral face and no adams apple, so I wasn't a joke either. It will be a big day in my decision to proceed with this plan. Actually it's the only thing that will stop me now.
---Bad news? It's going to snow again, and again, and again... 5 times supposedly in the next 7 days. Never in my life have I wished for a winter to end like I have this one. It's been to cold for too long. Not to mention it's a bitch keeping shaved when you get goose pimples every time you take your clothes off. Oh well, that's a story for another day...


Sunday, January 19, 2014

25 lbs and a broken truck

---I must apologize for the long time between posts. I will say that I had a work week in there, but I could have made a couple of posts. The big thing that happened was my truck broke down. I tend to obsess on such things and spent 2 days working on it (which means I wasn't focused on training). Of course I was expecting the worst... a big repair bill. Happily the cost of repair was only $60 so I am rather pleased.
---In other news I reached the 25 lbs lost goal!! This of course is no small feat. When one starts dieting and exercising, it seems like the end goal can never be achieved. I have an end goal of 46 lbs (I know it's an odd number, but it has meaning to me) which is a chunk of weight. I now believe I can make the last 21 lbs, and do so by last spring.
---I hope to do some shopping this week, and will report on my haul when I finish with it. Until then, have a great day!