Sunday, June 1, 2014
Walking around in public dressed as a girl when you are a guy is difficult. I boiled it down to two difficulties to conquer. 1: Not caring what people think of you 2: Looking good enough to not make a fool of oneself. Surprisingly I found 1 to be more difficult than 2.However I'm not going to spend a lot of time on 1 and 2 right now as I have come to discover there is a 3... family.
Families and gender bending are prickly bed partners. Families that are very religious dont look kindly to sons and brothers that like to wear stilettos and mascara. Families are not like everybody else because you only get one. Sure I know what you are thinking, "If they cant accept you for who you are then you really dont need a family like that." My view is that my parents are far to old to change their thinking and to old to shock with the news. I think the trauma of my gender bending activities could cause serious emotional issues and it's a risk I am not willing to take. My siblings and their extended families I could care less if I offended as they could grow to accept it in time. However I can't tell my siblings in fear that they would tell my parents and the viscous cycle of secrecy continues. So I have been at a virtual standstill on this topic for years and never really saw an opportunity for change until...
Yesterday my nephew-in-law came to visit. He currently lives in California with his wife and three girls. He is in the process of moving to Arkansas as I type this though and was in town to find a new place to live. My wife decided that it was a perfectly good idea to tell him about my alter ego a cpl of days ago. Obviously I was a bit reluctant about this as telling family opens a whole new can of worms.
Well I am happy to report that he was not bothered at all with my hobbies or plans to write a book, in fact he seemed quite intrigued. I started the evening dressed fairly normally as we were cooking out and enjoying the Arkansas woods from my deck. We sipped a few drinks and shared a few stories. Before long I was painting my nails (another failed attempt to learn water marbling) and put in my 42D's. I have to admit it was really pleasant to be able to be myself around family and not have to hide. Sometimes it's the small things that make life the most pleasant.
So I would like to make a toast to being yourself!
and another toast to family that doesn't judge you!
Looking forward to seeing my nephew again and meeting his lovely wife. I hope you find this little corner of the Ozarks to be enjoyable. Welcome to Arkansas J & R!
Lbs gained/lost: +/- 0 (gotta get this going)
Nail broken since May 7th :2